In the 1966 diary, after the seven-days-per-opening-plus-notes continuation for January 1967, there appeared sections entitled “NOTES” for the remaining months, two months to each page. I wrote this note in the space for NOTES: JULY 1967:
Audrey and I finished, I found that I’d had a complete change of heart: that my agreement to Audrey’s suggestions that it “was for the best” that we stop going out with each other, was mistaken. I desperately wanted her back.
The Johannine Writings give the circumstances of this refusal by Audrey (XXV.26, 27):
26.The evening after this, I went along to the Testimony Meeting at church, my heart in an agony.I came and sat down as usual with Audrey. I say “as usual” here, because everyone around would not think it strange that I sat with her—little did they know! In fact, there was a vacant place next to her and I asked her if she minded if I sat there. She said, “No”, so I did sit there.
Afterwards, when I tried to re-open the subject of last night’s conversation, she was surprised: hadn’t we agreed last night that our parting was “for the best”?
And she politely but firmly refused to change her mind in this matter.
Johannine Writings XXV.28–31:
28.What could I do? I was powerless to act. I could plead, but all in vain.Johannine Writings XXIV.9:29.And ah! the drawn-out agony
9.But we must remember in all this that the Lord is supreme and pre-eminent above all things. Nothing is done by any agency, save it be permitted from above; and everything is done by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God. He is supreme.I am not going to get involved in any dissertation here on Predestination and Election versus Human Free-will. Suffice it to say that I believe in the Sovereignty of God without leaning to Fatalism, and at the same time Human Responsibility and Free-will without having to say that God has abandoned involvement in our situations.
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