John Edward Cooper’s Notes

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Saturday 29th July 1967

1967

In the 1966 diary, after the seven-days-per-opening-plus-notes continuation for January 1967, there appeared sections entitled “NOTES” for the remaining months, two months to each page. I wrote this note in the space for NOTES: JULY 1967:

July 29 — Wanted
to get back to Audrey
but NO!

The day after Audrey and I finished, I found that I’d had a complete change of heart: that my agreement to Audrey’s suggestions that it “was for the best” that we stop going out with each other, was mistaken. I desperately wanted her back.
The Johannine Writings give the circumstances of this refusal by Audrey (XXV.26, 27):

26.The evening after this, I went along to the Testimony Meeting at church, my heart in an agony.
27.I sat down beside Audrey and after the meeting had ended I had a word with her, to see whether perhaps we could mend the split between us. But she refused to be courted, even though I pleaded strongly with her.

I came and sat down as usual with Audrey. I say “as usual” here, because everyone around would not think it strange that I sat with her—little did they know! In fact, there was a vacant place next to her and I asked her if she minded if I sat there. She said, “No”, so I did sit there.
Afterwards, when I tried to re-open the subject of last night’s conversation, she was surprised: hadn’t we agreed last night that our parting was “for the best”?
And she politely but firmly refused to change her mind in this matter.

Johannine Writings XXV.28–31:

28.What could I do? I was powerless to act. I could plead, but all in vain.
29.And ah! the drawn-out agony
of languishing for love,
for she had won my very heart;
she was my precious dove.
I longed that she be with me now,
our hearts to beat
with passion sweet.
Me she had spurned, I knew not how;
the bitter thought brought to me tears
that did confirm my worsest fears:
For me she’d never care again.

30.What could I do?
What could I say?
She nonchalantly went her way.
My strong persuasions could not sway
her from the course she took that day.

31.And ah! the dreary agony
of longing for her love,
for she had won my very heart;
she was my precious dove.

Johannine Writings XXIV.9:

9.But we must remember in all this that the Lord is supreme and pre-eminent above all things. Nothing is done by any agency, save it be permitted from above; and everything is done by the determinate counsel and foreknowledge of God. He is supreme.

I am not going to get involved in any dissertation here on Predestination and Election versus Human Free-will. Suffice it to say that I believe in the Sovereignty of God without leaning to Fatalism, and at the same time Human Responsibility and Free-will without having to say that God has abandoned involvement in our situations.

posted by John Edward Cooper # 7/04/2009 10:26:00 pm

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