John Edward Cooper’s Notes

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Saturday 9th July 1966

***Sexual content!***

again this week. YES!

Aud’s Mum has said “Aud
is serious”.
Chris says Aud told
Watty that she was not
keen on us—would keep
going round with me ’cos of family.

SNOGGIN’ again this week. YES!
See also Saturday 2nd July 1966 and Sunday 3rd July 1966. I was indulging in what I considered to be an excessive amount of “snogging”, which would lead to desires to touch Audrey’s breasts, attempts at which were always resisted by Audrey.

I considered that I was doing wrong because of scriptures like Matthew 5:27,28:
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
And 2 Timothy 2:22:
Flee also youthful lusts…
and 1 Peter 2:11:
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul…
And 1 Thessalonians 4:5:
…Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God…
I picture Audrey in either a plain dark blue pullover, or a mid-blue one, plain except for stripes at the cuffs and the lower ribbing. She is wearing tight stretch trousers with an elasticated band passing under each foot—what would nowadays be called ski-pants, I think. We are alone in our front room in Thornton. She is sitting beside me on the settee, or on my knee, and my desire is for her. We are kissing, but I want more, ache for more. Oh, look at those two breasts, roundly pushing out the fabric of her pullover!

“Oh, look…”
My left arm is round her shoulder, my right hand is free. I know that if I put it on her breast she will be angry; but what if I—? I stroke her neck with my fingers, halt at the collar-bone, go across her chest near her throat, down one side, across her tummy, down her leg, back up the other leg, up her side, then across her chest as near her breasts as I dare go. I can even feel the swellings of them, where they begin. I keep on repeating this process for as long as I can stand it. I think, “Well, I’m this close now”, and move my hand down the two or three remaining inches to her breast. “No!” she exclaims. She immediately sits upright, thrusts my hand away, and adds: “I’ve told you before: No!”

On another occasion, we were in the hall, and she was about to leave. She had her coat on, probably her black PVC imitation leather coat, not the dark green real leather one she later got. I was standing behind her, perhaps with my hands on her shoulders or waist; and I proceeded to encircle her with my left arm. I had my left arm either round her waist, or higher up with my hand on her right shoulder. And it was just too tempting, to cup my hand round her right breast. So I did, and how amply it seemed to fill my hand! She struggled to get herself free, but I had her gripped tightly, and her movement forward merely served to press her breast more firmly into my hand. She was really angry with me for that.

Is “Aud… serious” or “not keen on us”?
Chris says Aud told Watty that she was not keen on us—would keep going round with me ’cos of family: I deleted this using a blue coloured pencil, and wrote ALRIGHT above it using the same medium. The next use of blue coloured pencil is at 9th, 10th and 11th August, so I guess I made this amendment here when I was writing up the diary for those dates.

I had received two conflicting pieces of information: from Audrey’s Mum, that “Aud is serious”; and via Chris from Watty (Yvonne Watt, a friend of Audrey’s, both from school and church), that Audrey was not keen on us (i.e. me), but would keep going round with me because of the family. I raised the matter—with Audrey herself, I think—and concluded that things were all right.

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