John Edward Cooper’s Notes

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b. 8, South View, Moor Road, Walesby, 31st December 1949.

Photo taken on a cycle ride to Walesby on Saturday 21st June 2008.
I also cycled to Walesby on Sunday 15th June 1986 and took photos.
Jobcentre colleague. A “crush” on her, which started on Tuesday 3rd March 1981, lasted well into the mid-1980’s.

This is her entry on the Friends Reunited website:
Philippa Brumby
Schools: 1967: Caistor Grammar School
My notes (last updated 15 Nov. 2001):
Still living in the area, twice married, failed never was any good with the guys!!! However have three fabulous children who are successful. Have own business as Management Consultant and Investors in People Assessor, travel a lot.
The beginning of the Philippa-era
D81, page 35, Tues. 3 Mar. 1981, gives no indication of the effect Philippa had on me that day, apart from mentioning that I dreamt about her afterwards in the night:

Work: Only there morn. &
v. briefly aft. ∵ Union Meeting.
Annual General Meeting. Ian
Leedham, Hull Branch Chairman, guest
and he spoke.

(2.30pm: Car →Town Stⁿ. Train →Doncaster.
Meeting 5pm–7.30pm-ish,
pub, train →home, 10.30pm.)
Those attending: Roger O, me, Philippa, Sue L, Lynn S.
Dreamt about Φ in night.

Expanded, the diary entry reads:
Work: [I was] only there morn[ing] and v[ery] briefly aft[ernoon] because [of the] Union Meeting
[the] Annual General Meeting. Ian Leedham, Hull Branch Chairman, [was] guest and he spoke. [At] 2.30 p.m., [we went by] car [to Grimsby] Town St[atio]n [and went by] train [to] Doncaster. [The] meeting [there lasted from] 5 p.m. to 7.30 p.m.-ish; [then we went to a] pub [before returning by] train. [I arrived] home [at] 10.30 p.m. Those attending [the meeting were]: Roger O[akes], me, Philippa, Sue L[ynam and] Lynn S[mith.
I] dreamt about Ph[ilippa] in [the] night.
We sat on or near the front row in the meeting. Philippa was estranged from her husband, though they were still living together in the house they had built in Stallingborough. She was seeing Roger Oakes, who sat next to her on her left. I sat on her right. What she was wearing is firmly implanted in my memory and is what I later called DG’s (Devastating Garments): a tight-fitting, fine-knit, blue polo-neck sweater, and a lighter blue, knee-length, wrap-over skirt. She had dark brown, long wavy hair, and was very slim. She used to complain about her small bosom, but what she had appeared high and jutting, almost shelf-like, thanks to the uplift bra that she wore. In my dream of her, she was wearing the DG’s as she sat to the left of me in a car (I must have been driving, then—strange, since I don’t drive!) parked outside my old house in Thornton. When I awoke, I had an aching feeling inside and I couldn’t stop thinking about her; this “crush” lasted well into the mid-1980’s.

D81, page 40, Tues. 10 Mar. 1981:

Work: Jobshop all day. Even.:
stopped in—I did sermon
write-up while J read. Then
J to bed. I wasn’t sleepy, so
I stayed up till after 1pm,
listening to tape of [the] G[ospel of] J[oh]n
records & praying. I can’t get
Φ off my mind—I’m in an “agony”
over her—prayed and wept for
her, especially: reconciliation
in Jesus for her and James—
led on to prayer and weeping
for others at work—so my
passion has its uses!
D81, page 42, Thurs. 12 Mar. 1981:

Work: Jobshop.
Symptoms (Φ) worse—

so bad that
I couldn’t help
finding expression for
them, so

told Richard
A. about feelings for her. They
remain unabated: I don’t
know what to do—I have no
“designs” on her, so this ob-
session is useless. I try
to put them to some use by
channelling them into prayers
for her salvation and reconcil-
iation with her husband.
Told her while cancelling a
vacancy that she “looked
devastatingly attractive today”.
(She was wearing her polo-
neck blue jumper which shows
her so-slender form.)
Even.: Swept up, tapes, TV “Brave New World”.
So began the Philippa-era.

In 1985, my wife Janet told me that the actress Jane Russell reminded her of Philippa.

The end of the Philippa-era
, pages 421, 422, Thu. 10 Jul. 1986:

Even[ing]: J to MIND
session at Oole Road,
and I to Philippa’s
for haircut.
She said that she’d
asked me to remind her
and that I hadn’t: I
said I thought her words
to me yesterday about
coming early because
she had some alterations
to curtains to do at
Sue’s were reminder
There must have been
a change of plans
because Roger was
there; and she was
in no kind of hurry
and indeed had made no
moves to go out when
I left at 8.30-ish.
Roger was still there…
A note, added to the entry for Thu. 10 Jul. 1986 (CW86, page 422) on 19 Dec. 1986, says:

I think this was the
first visit since 6 May
—two whole months.
Did Alexander look
different? More grown up?
—I wondered.
And it was the last visit [that I made]
to [her home in] Westminster Drive.
Philippa has now moved.
It’s somewhere in Weelsby
Street but I don’t know
quite where. My hair
is getting rather long.
CW87, page 13, Tue. 6 Jan. 1987:

I’d forgotten dur-
ing the almost two
weeks I was off how
much certain wom-
en at work affect
me: Alison with
her tall elegance
and cool whiteness
of her blouse. Hazel.
And now, Marie. I
had to see her about
filling in a [form] CSC69,
and she was wearing
a black jumper with
V’s back and front.
She volunteered that
her bra was black
I definitely feel out of
love with Philippa
today. She came down
and spoke to Yasmin
(her number two alparolato)
—number one being Steve Alltoft. The “certain women at work” are pictured below:

Alison, 1989

Hazel, Friday 16th December 2005

Lynn, 1987

Marie, 1989
CW87, page 14, Wed. 7 Jan. 1987, prayer:

Definitely felt out of sorts
and out of love towards
Philippa yesterday—but
bless her: help her to have
some sort of satisfactory
life—may you and your
ways and your will be
revealed to her for her
salvation—and similarly
bless her children, too.
CW87, page 20, Fri. 9 Jan. 1987:

Interesting, because
almost every day
Philippa comes down
and speaks to Steve or
Yasmin but never to me,
and I’ve not gone over
to speak to her for a
long time. So I’ve been
out of touch with her.
But today I was
passing her room on
the 4th floor and she
came out, and it was
like long lost friends
chatting. She started off
by asking me what we’d
done at New Year, and
I said it had been a
quiet one, just the odd
meeting with neighbours;
then she told me that
she’s a lot happier with
her new boyfriend,
Kieran. He’s very
considerate and affection-
ate, and wants to marry
her. Problem: he’s
(well, once-Catholic
with always-Catholic
He’s younger
than her—and what
will his mother think?
Older woman, divorcee,
not a Catholic.
Philippa took Emma &
Alexander to church
on Christmas Day,
Emma under protest,
but she quite enjoyed
All this time I was
supposed to be clearing
up my work prior to
a heavy session
with budgeting with
the boss & Roger Phillips.
But I didn’t care, I
knew what my own
priorities were.
Am I still in
love with Philippa?
—not at present.
It was very pleasant
to have an audience
with her—and I
guess the old feel-
ings could return
if the circum-
stances permitted.
CW87, page 74, Tue. 3 Feb. 1987:

A rare conversation
with Philippa. I
passed on the 4th floor,
she appeared, we talked
in their tea room.
She’s suffering with
?kidneys again.
Back pains, etc.
CW87, page 100, Sat. 14 Feb. 1987:

Valentine’s Day — the
first in 5 years I’ve
not made some sort of
greeting to Philippa.
My hair also is getting
too long; I’ve not seen
her to have it cut
since July.
I stopped going, to see
if she’d miss me, and
obviously she didn’t,
because she’s never said
anything about it to me.

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